Mourning Coffee, by Tracy Renee Lee

Upon the loss of a significant loved one, grief is the natural pain that fills our souls with sadness and renders us significantly less efficient in every aspect of life. With this in mind, it is paramount to understand that you possess the power to overcome grief. Indeed, you owe it to yourself, as well as those who love you, to do so. If you do not overcome your grief, you will be riddled with debilitating illnesses and devastating unhappiness. In fact, not overcoming your grief may prematurely end your life. 

There are simple things that you can do to overcome grief. Today, however, I want to share three secrets that I call “The Three Grief Busters.” “The Three Grief Busters” will naturally propel you closer to recovery, substantially cut through your inefficiencies and debilitations, and release you to feel and experience love and happiness again. I have made many observations through my work as a Certified Grief Counselor, and time and time again, patients who have utilized “The Three Grief Busters” have by far, been the most successful in obtaining the relief they seek.


The first key to recovery is to DECIDE TO RECOVER. (Mourning Light III, 2019) A decision is a commitment. In this case, your commitment is to yourself. Be brave, accept personal accountability, and refuse to waiver. 

Have you ever met an Olympic Gold medalist? Even if you haven’t, you know that Olympic Gold Medalists are driven. They refuse to give up. They force themselves beyond the pain of their goals. You can do this too. Use your pain to motivate you to overcome it. Push yourself beyond it. Although others can make your journey easier, you alone must accept this challenge and accomplish your recovery goal. 


For many, Grief Buster II is the toughest to implement. Grief wedges unparalleled pain into the depths of your soul and sometimes you feel overwhelmed; as though you are drowning while still breathing. Grief Buster II is PRAYER. 

Praying to overcome what feels insurmountable may seem counterintuitive, however, that is the precise purpose of prayer – to give us the power to overcome what is humanly impossible. Perhaps you are unable to comprehend how praying could render any assistance in wiping out the worst experience of your life. After all, praying will not bring your loved one back. 

Although you may hate feeling such deep sorrow, you may not be sure that you will ever be capable of feeling, or even want to feel, anything else. You may wonder if feeling happy again might be disrespectful, evil, or even possible. 

Perhaps you feel as though you are now a different person and that you can never go back to who you were before, or to the life you had before. Your faith may also be faltering. You may not feel the presence, nor desire the presence, of God in your life at this time. 

All of these insecurities are natural consequences of suffering grief.  Grief wounds us so deeply that everything we know, or think we know, is called into question; including ourselves, our purpose, our path, and our faith.

Upon the death of my sweet grandson, Mikey Joe, I suffered these exact symptoms. I suffered debilitating pain and total confusion. I was vulnerable and easily crushed by those who probably had no idea that their words or actions caused me obliterating pain, crushing insecurities, bewildering confusion, and confining isolation. However, as I had seen the miracle of prayer work for so many of my clients, I was determined to apply it. I needed to bring myself back to a place where I could function for my children and grandchildren. I had responsibilities to the bank, my clients, my friends, my employees, and my community. Additionally, I had a responsibility to myself, and to God, to accomplish the goals upon which I had embarked, and upon which so many others relied. I was determined to utilize prayer because I had witnessed its miracle change the lives of so many, and I really wanted that for myself. And, ya know what, against all odds, God’s miracle worked for me.


The third Grief Buster is within everyone’s grasp. The third Grief Buster is to call upon and utilize our MEMORIES. 

Memories are our innermost private captions of the life we shared with our loved one. Upon a loved one’s death, memories become etched in our personalities and contribute to who we are. They are the strings that link our souls together. 

While death changes the nature of our relationships with our decedents, memories block death’s disruption to our connections with them. Memories are intangible pictures residing in our souls. We must utilize them for our comfort and recovery. Memories reflect our abiding love for our decedent directly into our souls as we remodel our lives and live without their physical presence. Not all memories are happy or pleasant, and in such circumstances, these memories need resolving. Some may require intervention, however, survivors can usually rectify these issues themselves. 

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Memories 1

Memories are what connect us to ourselves and to others.

Some memories are sweet and others not so much.

Upon the death of a loved one, it is necessary to reconfigure our memories.

Our deceased loved one is no longer a living participant in our lives and must now become a loving and treasured memory.

Failure to reconfigure our loved one’s participation in our life as a memory will confuse our hearts and prolong our heartache.

Reconfiguring our loved one into a loving and treasured memory will deepen and purify our bonds with them. (Mourning Light III, 2019)

If you are in the throes of grief, I hope you will apply “The Three Grief Busters.” They work!  I know this because I have seen their magic thousands of times. I offer my witness to their power through applied application to my own grief. In doing so, I have experienced their miraculous healing powers. Without them, I would not have survived the anguish suffered upon the loss of my grandson, witnessing the pain suffered by his devoted mother, nor the wretched torture unwittingly bestowed upon me by others within my family, my circle of friends, and my acquaintances. 

“The Three Grief Busters” are simple and available to everyone; free of charge. They are powerful weapons against the pain of grief. These grief busting applications cannot be sold because they are spiritual gifts. They are available to every individual who desires them. They are held within your soul. 

I wish so intensely that death were not a part of life, however, that fact cannot be changed. All we can do is commit to what is best in life, accomplish our purpose, assist others, and carry on.

My name is Tracy Renee Lee. I am a Certified Grief Counselor (GC-C), Funeral Director (FDIC), published author, syndicated columnist, and co-founder of the “Mikey Joe Children’s Memorial” and Heaven Sent, Corp. I write books, weekly bereavement articles, and Grief BRIEFs related to understanding and coping with grief. I am the American Funeral Director of the Year Runner-Up and recipient of the BBB’s Integrity Award. 

It is my life’s work to comfort the bereaved and help them live on.

For additional encouragement, read other articles or watch video “Grief Briefs,” please go to my website at

Please follow me on Instagram at “PushingUpDaisies_TracyLee”.

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