In one’s journey to grief recovery, one must first and foremost decide to recover. Without your decision to do so, recovery will not materialize. No one can recover for you. You alone must seek and obtain this recovery for yourself. Of course, there are others along the way that can and will assist you; however, if you want recovery, you must obtain it yourself.
As we learned last week, the first step to recovery is to decide to recover. To decide to recover, one must have an inward conversation. This conversation reveals the reasons for recovery to the survivor.
Last week, I asked you to make a decision on whether you want to recover from the chaos and grief brought into our lives from the craziness of COVID 19, and if you did, to construct a list of why you want to recover. What are your motivators? What are the reasons you want to recover? These reasons that have been revealed to you work together and are your purpose for recovery.
Let’s assume that one of your reasons listed for recovery from the grief suffered from the fall out of COVID 19 is to support your family. Supporting one’s family encompasses many levels of support one might need to provide monetary support as in shelter, food, and other physical comforts. You might need to reestablish esteem, confidence, and social standing for them. There may also be emotional and psychological recovery needs within your family. Once these reasons are revealed to you, you must implement a plan for their recovery.
GRIEF BRIEF 209 DISCOVER YOUR PURPOSE
While the first key to recovery is to decide to recover, the second key to recovery is to discover your purpose in life.
Without a purpose in life, it is impossible to recover to an acceptable standard of comfort.
You must have a purpose, a direction on which to focus your heart, mind, and efforts. Without such a purpose, your mind will dwell on the pain of your loss, and soon you will drown in anguish.
Your will alone will not bring total recovery. You must merge it with your minds ability to intellectually discern your purpose; your hearts desire to serve, love, and accomplish that purpose; and your efforts to achieve your purposeful goals.
With profound purpose, your soul will redirect your energies toward its accomplishment, and the by-product will be grief recovery. (Mourning Light, Tracy Lee)
Your reasons for recovery are actually your purpose in life. Without recovery, your life will never be yours again. You will continue to be manipulated by circumstances rather than be in control of yourself, your choices, and your future. You must pair your purpose, which is to recover, with your mind’s focus and hearts desire in order to accomplish your goal.
This week’s assignment is to concentrate every cell of your body, mind, and soul to your profound purpose. Dedicate all of your energy toward changing your focus away from what you have lost and over to what you hold dearest in your heart.
Once your energy has redirected itself toward the profound endeavors of your purpose, you will immediately begin to feel less stress and grief. Your energy will begin moving you toward accomplishing positive change and away from dwelling on negative stagnation.
You must continue to actively engage yourself in your purpose. Do not allow yourself, others, or outside influences to derail your efforts. If you find that someone or something interferes with your movement toward recovery, stop and redirect this influence. If it is a person, inform them that your focus has changed from loss to recovery. Ask them to change their focus and conversation topic. If your friend cannot bring himself/herself to honor your new focus, you might reevaluate the value of time spent with him/her. Perhaps you can help them redirect their focus toward recovery as well.
It is important that you focus yourself toward your purpose. Redirecting is not always smooth or easy. Understanding that there will be good days and days that are more difficult will help you prepare for them. Decide in advance how you will handle adversity to your new recovery goals and purpose. Preparing for these days will make them conquerable.
I have a quilted art piece hanging on the wall in my office. My dear cousin Barbara quilted and embroidered it. Each morning and all day long whenever I run into a bump in my day, I look over and read her beautiful handiwork. “Mile by mile, it’s a trial, but inch by inch, it’s a cinch.”
I’ve found that statement to be absolutely true. If you break down your trials into baby steps, eventually you overcome them. That is how I battle grief. I break my pain down into compartments. I refocus myself on my purpose in life, and I apply my efforts and talents back on the path that rebuilds and regains my strength.
I won’t tell you that it’s easy, because it’s not; but everyday, every effort, and every concentrated decision moves me forward to a better place. My better place is recovery. It is that place where I am in control of myself, my happiness, and my destiny, and where I have regained my ability to be independent from sadness and pain.
Along with concentrating every cell of your body, mind, and soul to your profound purpose, and dedicating all of your energy toward changing your focus away from what you have lost and over to what you hold dearest in your heart; part two of this weeks assignment is to incorporate your purpose into your focus, create an action plan, begin moving forward, and eliminate or redirect anything or anyone that interferes with your new direction toward recovery. Record your progress so that you can review it later and have evidence that you are moving forward. Doing this also helps you correct your course should you get distracted along the way, it helps you to organize your thoughts and efforts for continued success, and it brings the change that you desire into your brain as your natural daily path. In fact doing this practically insures that your righteous endeavors, goals, and purpose in life will become your reality. It changes you into the better person you want to be, your circumstances into the better circumstances you desire and deserve, and the world around you into a better place for everyone.
Next week, I will reveal the secret of tapping into your inner strength
My name is Tracy Renee Lee. I am a Certified Grief Counselor (GC-C), Funeral Director (FDIC), published author, syndicated columnist, Podcaster, and founder of the “Mikey Joe Children’s Memorial” and Heaven Sent, Corp. I write books, weekly bereavement articles, Podcasts, and Grief BRIEFs related to understanding and coping with grief. I am the American Funeral Director of the Year Runner-Up and recipient of the BBB’s Integrity Award.
It is my life’s work to comfort the bereaved and help them live on.
For additional encouragement, please visit my podcast “Deadline” at https://open.spotify.com/show/7MHPy4ctu9OLvdp2JzQsAA or at https://anchor.fm/tracy874 and follow me on Instagram at “Deadline_TracyLee”.