4 Steps to Recovery

Mourning Coffee, by Tracy Renee Lee

I have often written about the first key to recovery.



The first key is recovery is to DECIDE TO RECOVER. (Mourning Light III, Tracy Lee)

Following the first key, would be the second key. 



While the first key to recovery is to decide to recover, the second key to recovery is to discover your purpose in life. 

Without a purpose in life, it is impossible to recover to an acceptable standard of comfort. 

You must have a purpose, a direction on which to focus your heart, mind, and efforts. Without such a purpose, your mind will dwell on the pain of your loss, and soon you will drown in anguish. 

Your will alone will not bring total recovery. You must merge it with your mind’s ability to intellectually discern your purpose; your heart’s desire to serve, love, and accomplish that purpose; and your efforts to achieve your purposeful goals. 

With profound purpose, your soul will redirect your energies toward its accomplishment, and the by-product will be grief recovery. (Mourning Light III, Tracy Lee)

Earlier today, I realized that although I had given you the two keys to recovery, I had failed to provide you with a pathway to accomplish them. This article shall attempt to present that pathway in a four-step program to help you accomplish your recovery goal. Let’s get down to business. 


The first step in accomplishing your recovery goal is to immerse yourself in it. You must become engaged in the goal you have set forth for yourself. It must be your focus. You must analyze it, plan it, desire it, and embark upon it. 

In short, you must become your goal. Everything about you, everything inside of you, everything that you are must concentrate, focus, and want this recovery more than anything else in your life. 


Now that you have decided to recover from the pain of grief, the second step on your path is to believe that it is possible. You must forsake any and all doubts that might be lurking within yourself. Rid your life, mind, and soul of them. 

You must believe that you can recover. You must believe in your dedication to yourself. You must believe that you will not give up, that you will embark on this journey, and that you will endure it to the end.


Belief and faith are two different concepts. To believe something is to accept it as truth. Faith; however, is your complete trust or confidence in that which you believe.

Now that you have decided to recover, immersed yourself in your goal, forsaken any and all doubts, and replaced them with a belief in yourself, your goal, and your abilities; you now must pursue your goal with complete trust and confidence that you will accomplish your efforts successfully. You must apply faith to your belief.

The Lord Jesus Christ said that should you have faith the size of mustard seed, you could move mountains. “If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place, and it shall remove, and nothing shall be impossible unto you.” (Matthew 17:20) Therefore, the third step to grief recovery is to apply faith.

We are called upon to bear many mountains in life. One of the largest mountains to overcome is grief. Miracles are predicated upon your faith; faith in the Lord Jesus Christ and in his power to help you. You must trust and have confidence that his will is to help, love, and redeem you. He took upon Himself our miseries, mistakes, weaknesses, and sins. He paid the compensatory price and provided the power for us to move even the largest mountains placed before us. That power, the power to affect miracles and move mountains; is obtained through not only our belief in him but in our application of faith in his miraculous mission and grace. 

Moving a mountain would indeed be a miracle, so too is grief recovery. 


Christ and Heavenly Father do not expect us to accomplish anything without their help. They have promised to assist us in all worthy and righteous endeavors. “…Verily I say unto you, If ye have faith, and doubt not, ye shall not only do this which is done to the fig tree, but also if ye shall say unto this mountain, Be thou removed, and be thou cast into the sea; it shall be done. And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive.” (Matthew 21:21-22)

Over the years, the number one thing my clients tell me is that prayer is their most comforting tool. It is the tool that brings them solace when they feel alone. It is the tool that chases away the demons that grief ushers in. And, it is the tool that opens the gate to the miracle of recovery.

If you are suffering loss and grief, I invite you to put into practice this four-step plan. It is my belief that this plan will move your mountain and cast it into the sea. I have faith that through your faith, you will recover this dreadful loss and ensuing grief. Through immersing yourself in your goal, believing in your abilities and casting out your doubts, applying faith to your pursuit, and praying to God to help you crush and remove its pain; I believe your mountain will fall into the sea and you will find joy and happiness in life once again.

I know this path works because I have applied it. I have walked through the valley of the shadow of death and I have come out on the other side, renewed, and able to traverse life without the debilitating pain and heartache imposed through grief.

My prayer is that you will experience the healing powers of God; that you will reach out to him and ask for his assistance, that you will have faith that he will deliver you from the mountains that crush you in life, and that the glories of relief and recovery will be yours. The pain of grief is all-consuming and it may seem as though there is no light at the end awaiting you. However, if you will apply these steps, I believe that Christ’s grace and miracles will be yours.

My name is Tracy Renee Lee. I am a Certified Grief Counselor (GC-C), Funeral Director (FDIC), published author, syndicated columnist, Podcaster, and founder of the “Mikey Joe Children’s Memorial” and Heaven Sent, Corp. I write books, weekly bereavement articles, Podcasts, and Grief BRIEFs related to understanding and coping with grief. I am the American Funeral Director of the Year Runner-Up and recipient of the BBB’s Integrity Award.

It is my life’s work to comfort the bereaved and help them live on.

For additional encouragement, please visit my podcast “Deadline” at https://open.spotify.com/show/7MHPy4ctu9OLvdp2JzQsAA or at https://anchor.fm/tracy874 and follow me on Instagram at “Deadline_TracyLee”.

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