There are five powers that you can claim and utilize to ward off Complicated Grief. These five powers should be claimed and implemented at the onset of loss, however, if you find that you are discovering them later on, later is better than never. The key is to remain steady in your endeavor to recover by seeking and adopting these powers. Decide from the onset that you will recover from this loss and do all that you can to avoid complicated grief.
The five powers are knowledge, truth, organization, support, and spirituality.
POWER ONE – KNOWLEDGE IS POWER
I have written a series of books entitled Mourning Light. If you were to read the Mourning Light book series, you would be on a good track to recovery by increasing your knowledge. Not everyone has these books, but there are other books available that contain wonderful and informative principles. Reading books and articles about grief recovery will give you important treasures of knowledge that you need to move through the arduous experience of grief recovery. Read these books and articles, and keep a journal of your thoughts and progress.
Knowledge is power. It helps you understand what is happening currently, what will happen in the future, and how to plan and overcome the sorrows accompanying loss. It gives you the keys to prepare yourself and develop strategies that will assist you in avoiding complications later on.
POWER TWO – TRUTH IS POWER
In order to recover from your loss, you must be honest and truthful with yourself and others. You must begin by accepting the truth of your loss and the consequences it brings. Many times loss brings changes that are undesired. These losses can be very frightening and may cause you to try to avoid the reality of them. This is not a practical approach. You must look at these losses, or changes, straight on, and begin an action plan to restructure your life without your loved one beside you. You may be facing the loss of income, your home, companionship, social status, safety, comfort, etc. The truth is that the loss of a significant loved one has a ripple effect into literally every aspect of your life. The power of accepting the reality of this loss gives you the power to realize a new life. Your new life may not be what you want, however, once you embark on building it, you can draw from your past and live in harmony with it.
Truth is Power. It helps you accept the reality of your loss so that you can build and accomplish the reality of your new life in harmony with memories and continued love.
PART THREE – ORGANIZATION IS POWER
With knowledge and truth, you are free to organize your journey. With these tools, you can build a step-by-step recovery plan with contingencies for highs and lows. You can tailor your plan to your needs and restructure it as you grow in recovery and power.
If you are the type of person who posts little notes on your refrigerator or computer screen, get busy posting notes of instruction and encouragement. If you are the type of person who organizes your life on a spreadsheet, get busy organizing your plan on different sheets with graphs that focus on progression charts and recovery tactics.
Organization is power. It gives you a road map to follow and adjust as you see fit while keeping your movement in a positive direction. It is a step-by-step plan of action tailor-made for you, by you.
PART FOUR – SUPPORT IS POWER
With three powers in action, you now need to build a support system. Support may come from a multitude of resources. It is really up to you to decide what works best for your needs, schedule, and personality. Support might come from a one on one scenario. Perhaps you have a friend or relative who has survived the death of a loved one and is willing to support you through your journey. I call this person a grief buddy. Maybe you are a very sociable person and would prefer support from a group of people. These people might be an organized group who meet together at a specified place and time. Perhaps it is a group of several friends who lend their love and support to you at a drop of a hat. You might even choose an institutionalized type of support. Institutionalized support comes from a trained individual who specializes in grief recovery. Whatever your choice, support is paramount and should not be overlooked.
Support is Power. It supplies you with socialization, friends who can carry you when you are low, and in some cases professional care. Human beings are social creatures and thereby thrive through the assistance, love, and support of others.
PART FIVE – SPIRITUALITY IS POWER
Not only in my life but in my work as well, I find that the greatest power on earth is spirituality. Christ said, “If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you.” Trust me, He wasn’t kidding.
I have witnessed and been the recipient of miraculous healing through personal prayer and others’ prayers offered on my behalf. I have felt the hand of God touch my heart and soul depositing comfort, love, and forgiveness upon my weaknesses, and offering light where there was only darkness and sorrow.
When I have yearned for death’s relief, God has placed peace upon my soul and given me the strength to continue in life. He has given me opportunities to grow and to help others find their comfort and relief. These are blessings that man cannot give. These are gifts from on high, and I am grateful for a Father in Heaven who loves us all so much that He allowed man to murder His only begotten Son so that we might not perish but have everlasting life.
Spirituality is power. It surpasses all other powers because it is not earthly power; it is divine power. It is there without prejudice or qualification for all who desire it. It is the power that can heal and correct any wrong, any hurt, any pain. It is a celestial power that envelopes you in divine love and protection. It is peace to the soul.
I hope you will embark on these five powers to assist you through life and in grief recovery. Having traveled the road of grief recovery myself, I can attest to the power gained by implementing them. The road to grief recovery can be very long and very difficult. I hope you will try everything possible to lighten its effect as soon as possible.
Life is too precious and important to lose yourself in the sorrows of anguish that drown you in the sea of complicated grief. Avoid it if you can, but if you find that you need additional help, reach out for assistance, employ these five powers, and if it comes down to it, seek professional help. We all need help once in a while, and helping others helps the helper too.
Rely on good friends and family, and remember always to seek His love. Even Christ sought relief when He was suffering in the Garden of Gethsemane. His supernal example of humble supplication to the Father teaches us that even the most perfect among us cried out for help. Are we greater than He? Of course not, but we must be humble and open ourselves to receive His assistance and love. We can follow His example and ask for relief. We can ask for healing, friendship, companionship, knowledge, blessings, and guidance. We can ask for whatever we need.
God answers prayer. I can say this with confidence because I have received His loving peace, His divine intervention, and His glorious recovery in my life, many times over. I pray for these same blessings for you and ask that you do the same with faith in your heart.
If you will employ these five powers, I know that you will receive the healings of which you stand in need. You will find joy, peace, love, and recovery. As we enter the holiday season, I also ask that you reach out to others who might find themselves without loved ones who once were there with them. During this time of so many losses upon God’s children, please reach out and comfort and support each other. If you will, the blessings you seek will come into your life, I guarantee it.
My name is Tracy Renee Lee. I am a Certified Grief Counselor (GC-C), Funeral Director (FDIC), published author, syndicated columnist, Podcaster, and founder of the “Mikey Joe Children’s Memorial” and Heaven Sent, Corp. I write books, weekly bereavement articles, Podcasts, and Grief BRIEFs related to understanding and coping with grief. I am the American Funeral Director of the Year Runner-Up and recipient of the BBB’s Integrity Award.
It is my life’s work to comfort the bereaved and help them live on.